A Gift For You! Open It – You’ll Never Be The Same

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Beloved,

The fact that you are still here and still being a Phoenix rising shows that you DO value yourself. It takes courage to face challenges, survive and to want to make a change. Maybe you don’t value yourself as much as you would like, but the spark is there and will be fanned into a flame that will burn brightly.

It has to begin with you – with offering your unique gifts. You weren’t meant to fit in amongst the mediocre, you were meant to SHINE. We are given a box of gifts at birth, it is our job to hand that box back at the end of our days and say “There is nothing left – I used it all up.”

When we do our me-work (the Beauty Uprising, self-development and self-awareness) because we are worth it, we learn that through vulnerability comes strength. We break ourselves down and get rid of the crap that no longer serves us – negative views of ourselves, habits that perpetuate cycles of defeat, relationships that no longer affirm our worth and we act from of place of love. You’ve beaten yourself up long enough, hon.

I challenge you to do some mirror work. There is a very specific reason: By looking into the mirror, we see ourselves as we are: human. Each day I would like you to look in the mirror and say the following ( a paulissaism that helped me tremendously in my path and perhaps it will help someone else):

I am ENOUGH
-Smart ENOUGH
-Worth ENOUGH
-Loved ENOUGH
ENOUGH. I am.

You may feel funny at first and that it is OK. You may feel phony or feel lots of resistance and that is OK too. The most valuable lessons are found when we are uncomfortable. That is where the growth happens. Fake it until you make. Say this until you believe in your heart of hearts that you truly are enough, in the state in which you are now because you are a Phoenix and you are rising!

Don’t be a yeah but either. . .you know “Yeah but it’s hardddddddd”. Yes it is hard but you are worth every effort. Mega hugs and lots of love. Hope some of this helps.

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Bumblings of A Busy Brain

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© 2013 Paulissa Kipp, All rights reserved

This piece is a response to a journaling prompt.  The prompt:  Engage in a conversation with an organ of your body.  What would you ask it?  What would that organ have to tell you?

I chose my brain since it is sooooooo noisy some days.  The result is a humorous, yet accurate depiction of life inside my mind.  Yes, I really DO think in song lyrics.

Brain:   Ob-la-di, ob-la-da life goes on brah La la how the life goes on Ob-la-di, ob-la-da life goes on brah La la how the life goes on

Me:  Life goes on and we learn.  Why must you ALWAYS think in song lyrics?
Brain: My friend, I think in song and sonnet, harmony and melody, in Plato, Voltaire, Emerson, Thoreau and Shakespeare.  I am tthe essence of personality.  I create reality.  As we think, so we are.  “I just wannabe mad for awhileeeeee. . .”
Me:  Mad?  I’m not even angry!  Have you lost your mind?  Oh wait, , ,SHUT UP, ALREADY!
Brain:  “Honey hush, you know you talk too much.  You talk in the morning talk all damn day. . .so honey hush. . .
Money honey or honey hush.  What are negligent torts?  What IS that #!* noise?  What is for dinner?  Oh look!  A wild turkey outside the window!  Hmmm. . .too bad it isn’t Thankgiving.”
Me:  Slow down!  How do you expect me to concentrate?
Brain:  “Slow down, you move too fast, you’ve got to make the morning last
Just kickin’ down the cobble-stones, lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy.”
Me:  Move!   You’re standing too close to me.
Brain:  “Don’t stand, don’t stand, don’t stand so close to me. . .”
Me:  Shut up and let me rest!
Brain:  Somewhere Over the Rainbow. . .
Me:  Now that’s more like it.

For a little extra fun, here are links to the songs above:

Obla dihttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJhcGepfG04

I Just Wanna Be Mad : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYjO-L48ZQQ

Feeling Groovyhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJBhdKrwTOc

Don’t Stand So Close to Mehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNIZofPB8ZM

Honey Hushhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lg9VPEQQ60

Money Honeyhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8oNHMNCSjQ

Somewhere Over the Rainbowhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccCnL8hArW8

You Are Seen

You Are Seen

© 2012 Paulissa Kipp Hello BraveHearts! Here at Pardon My Muse we talk often about love:  self-love and love for others.  We foster humanity through love and believe that love is always the answer.  In the spirit of love, I … Continue reading

Time to Break Through The Wall of Silence

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Time to Break The Wall of Silence

Okey dokey,

I am feeling verrryyyyyy vulnerable but I know that I am amongst friends so it is time to talk because I am processing a lottttttttt of information but I am committed to authentically facing the challenges and joys in my life.  Here goes:  We have finally arrived at an official mental health diagnosis and it is a bit much to take in.  Here it is:  PTSD/anxiety disorder/adult ADD/bipolar disorder.  I hit every single hallmark for all of the above.  Damn dirty over-achiever lol.  While there is some relief in having terms to place on the manifestations -racing thoughts, the panic, the inability to concentrate, the need to escape, the triggering of fight/flight responses, the anger, the highs, lows, in-betweens and bone-crushing exhaustion – there is also a good amount of apprehension.  That age-old question of what now and how will this affect my ability to achieve the big things I want to do with my life rises up from the deep.  Panic begets panic and looking inward for too long causes implosion on my part.

Soooooooo. . .I choose to look outward; to help where I can, to know that I am worth doing the me-work that will establish better balance and well-being.  I know that the gift of mental illness is that if I am self-aware, it teaches me to actively practice self-care.  I have lots of thoughts and a few fears tonight since each diagnoses manifests worry or angst in me in a different fashion.

PTSD:  manifests itself in alarm, easy startling, a fight response when others enter my personal space uninvited

Anxiety disorder: manifests itself when least expected and is lower if I know that I only have to get through ____ amount of time in a given situation and then I either won’t have to face it again at all or won’t have to face it anytime soon.  Ramps up if there is a stressor that I have to endure regularly.  Still, I believe that exposure therapy is sometimes helpful.

ADD:  Manifests itself by scattering my thoughts, affecting my short term memory and making long periods of intense concentration impossible because I just want to escape.  Necessary tasks are more difficult due to the inability to concentrate.

BIPOLAR DISORDER:  Manifests itself with high and low energy.  During the highs, my energy and mood are boundless.  I am able to multitask well during those periods.  During the lows, the muscle pain is very palpable, exhaustion reigns and it takes everything I have to be any modicum of productive.

Welcome to my world.  Yet I’m here.  Learning. Working. Making a difference and hoping that sharing honestly not only helps me to understand myself but for others to understand that facing life with a mental illness does not mean we are weak but rather that we are courageous as hell.

 

Braggart!

“Tell me a little about yourself.”

Tongue tied, sweaty palm, raspy voice

“Who Me?”

So much to tell, so little to share

Do I dare to unlock the box

To take pride in it all, even the rocks?

Braggart!

Liar!

Fraud!

Who do you think you are?

I think, no I KNOW I am me

Courageous

Magnificent

Beautiful

ME!

© 2013 Paulissa Kipp 4/17/13

 

Don’t Take That Yoke!

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Text and Image © 2013 Paulissa Kipp

Don’t Take That Yoke!

A heart full of love compensates for a heart and mind that is filled with hate. The hope for a peaceful future exists in the way in which we love others. Evil will always exist, as will hate. Hate arises from envy – envy of liberty, freedom, opportunity to move with a minimum of restriction and envy of a way of life. Hate also rises up from places of deep pain and misplaced blame, for is it easier to blame others and circumstances than it is to take responsibility for changing the paradigm. Yet that is the challenge. Hate is only combated through love.

There are some – including our “intelligence” agencies and President –  who feel that it is important to understand why this act of violence was perpetrated.  I do not agree.  Allow me to explain.  I believe that our burden and responsibility at all times is to love.  The act of transferring my energies to wondering why others would wish harm upon me personally, my community or my country shifts my focus from the good I can do by fostering humanity.  I don’t need to know why someone would wish harm. That is not important.

Further, there are those who wish to engage in the one-upmanship of pain and death.  Those persons or entities use the red herring of “What about the ____X______ number of people who died in Syria, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan or any other country in which there is unrest and in which America either volunteers or is begged to be the world’s police force.  Please do not misunderstand me:  I believe that all life is precious, that all humanity needs to be affirmed.  Therefore, I couldn’t care less about this one-upmanship of pain.  To me, it is all tragic but I choose to focus my energies upon the corner of the world in which I am most equipped to make a difference.  That is my own back yard.   I do not need to wear a yoke of guilt and responsibility for the hatred of others.  I do not need to be personally responsible for why someone chooses to carry out harm against others.  Neither do you. There are more important things.  Love is more important.

 

Fostering Humanity Manifesto

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Fostering Humanity Manifesto

Leonard Cohen observes that “everything has a crack, that’s how the light gets in”.  We soak up the rays, tell time and mark the seasons with the sun and grow with the help of the sun.  We turn our faces to the sun, always seeking the good, the beautiful and the happiness we believe is found there.

Yet along with the pursuit of happiness and warmth of the sun, often those who are the most vulnerable can be caused to be overlooked. Darkness brings fear, anxiety, monsters under the bed and cold truths we might rather avoid.  It is easy to see the light, yet darkness has value as well.  There we find the lost and lonely who are always left behind.  The homeless, the veteran, the mentally disabled, those with depression or any one of us on a given day who need a kind word, a gentle touch, a smile and understanding.

Instead, many of us look away as though by not laying eyes on humanity and need, it will not exist.  Yet vulnerability and the need for love always exists and neither ignorance nor apathy will change that.  The only thing that changes darkness and neglect is love.  You don’t have to love someone romantically to practice love.  The challenge is this:  Do not cause harm.  Give the benefit of the doubt.  We do not inhabit another’s mind so we will never know the full story at any given time.  Simple recognition of that fact will go a long way toward fostering humanity.

This is my vision:
1.       No one is insignificant.  Never brush aside anyone..  Who knows what they can teach us?
2.      “Treat the other man’s faith gently; it is all he has to believe with. His mind was created for his own thoughts, not yours or mine.” ~ Henry S. Haskins

Whether a person is a believer in a higher power or not, do not tear at the fabric of another’s belief system to feed your ego.  We all come to faith (I do not necessarily mean religion) in our own ways and our own time.  Who is to say that the person who walks silently along a brook doesn’t feel moved by a spirit?  Allow each person to engage in his or her own belief system.  At the end of the day, it matters most whether or not a person is kind.

3.      Choose love.  It is easy to be negative, to think that others have it in for us and to think the worst.

4.      Protect the vulnerable.  Don’t assume that someone else will be your backbone.
5.      Listen to others.  The most basic human need is someone to hear our story.  It matters.

6.      Make your points without personal attacks.  Weak people attack others instead of clearly and civilly stating disagreements and trying to find common ground.  When common ground can’t be found, wish your “opponent” well.

7.      Find beauty in everyone.  Everyone has it.  If it isn’t apparent, that means that you haven’t waited long enough.  Everyone has humanity to be laid thread, by golden thread, and woven into a tapestry of joyful existence.

8.      Add joy where you can.  Kindness costs nothing.

9.      Label no one.  Labels negate worth.

We are all magnificent; we are all capable of love, hope, kindness and beauty manifested.  You have more to offer than you could ever imagine and the universe is waiting for your wisdom.

I leave you with this:

Let me assure you that you are loved. You were wonderfully created, and made to be someone special. You are ever changing but in every phase you are a perfect masterpiece. You are beautiful, you are wonderful, and you cannot fail. You were not made for that. You were made to be a beautiful human becoming. You were made to be a warrior, not a doormat. YOU ARE A WARRIOR! Stand tall. Know that you are more than you ever imagined. Know you are worthy of every blessing. Know you are loved more than you ever imagined.  Foster Humanity.

Text and image © 2013 Paulissa Kipp

 

Save Me

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Poker face, play the smile

Gaze at me, steel eyes plead

Speak to me of dreams and sorrows

Love is time, time is love

Save Me

A Little Piece of Your Time

Save Me

A little space in your mind

Save me the corner booth with cobwebs spun

Save me laughter and sorrow

A sidelong glance

Save me a song, perhaps even a dance

Maybe a rose, even with thorns

Save me, save me

Gentle on the mind

© 2013 Paulissa Kipp 4/10/2013